I Am Thankful For…

Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted–a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.  Rabbi Harold Kushner

Several years ago my husband and I watched a good friend go through a difficult season. We noticed that he did not seem to be himself. Our friend’s complexion was ashen, he struggled with bad back pain, he was losing weight, and he was not as eager to go out for a hike or a night out on the town. Eventually we found out why our friend did not look so good. A heart murmur he had since childhood, made his heart over-function to the point that his body was in heart failure, and so he was immediately admitted to the hospital to undergo a major open heart surgery. Our friend was only in his 40s and to make matters worse he was without health insurance. My husband and I visited him prior to his surgery. Sure like anyone, he had some of the very normal “why me” feelings, and yet in the midst of the anxiety of his imminent open heart surgery and the financial bills that he knew were sure to pile up, I also heard this young man articulate how grateful he was to  be alive.

Our friend’s heart procedure took much longer than the surgeon anticipated and during the complicated surgery the cardiac surgeon decided to put in a mechanical heart valve. He ended up staying in the hospital for about 1 month and faced many unexpected hardships during the hospital stay, and yet, he continued to communicate how thankful he was. When he finally got out of the hospital, he had to go to regular physical therapy sessions and also deal with the mounting medical bills. On top of having a major heart procedure at such a young age, our friend was also was in a wreck shortly after his surgery. Looking at his car, it was amazing he wasn’t hurt and through this additional adversity, he kept a positive and grateful attitude. What I admire about our friend is how through all of this, he was able to be honest about the pain of everything he faced, and yet, at the same time, he maintained such a thankful spirit. Not long after his surgery, he went for a medical check-up and overheard the surgeon and cardiologist talking in the hallway about how stunned they were by the progress he had made. It’s my opinion that his optimism and gratitude were essential ingredients in his healing process. I believe that the healthiest and happiest people are those who are able to be vulnerable and express the pain of life, while also being thankful and expressing the gifts of life. I think it is vitally important to share our grief and to talk about the difficulties we all face in life. Part of what it means to be human is to share and verbalize our anger, sadness, grief, and difficulties. But I also think we will experience more fullness and joy in life, if we live in a spirit of gratitude.

John Henry Jowett once said, “Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.” In fact, gratitude is so powerful there’s a whole field of research dedicated to it. Dr. Robert Emmons is a leader in the field and the author of The Psychology of Gratitude. He says being grateful increases your chances of being “successful in work, love and life.” Let me be clear and reiterate that having a spirit of gratefulness does not mean that we deny the harsh realities we face in life. Life can be very tough. Maybe you are struggling to find a job, grieving the death of a significant loved one, caring for a family member who is sick, facing a serious illness, or you are dealing with depression. But in spite of the challenges in our lives, there is still always something good in our midst to recognize.

So let’s consider committing to the practice of being thankful. It seems like too often we are dissatisfied with what we have. We wish we had a better spouse. We are constantly frustrated with our family. Our job is no longer satisfying. The grass is definitely greener on the other side. We’re perpetually dissatisfied.  And yet, we have the ability to reorient ourselves by remembering all we have to be thankful for in our lives. Let’s take a moment to ponder the many blessings surrounding us and consider at least 3 things we are thankful for today. The thirteenth century theologian and mystic, Meister Eckhart, beautifully said, “If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘Thank you,’ that would suffice.”

Hoping you have a happy Thanksgiving,

Christy