Allowing Others to Be Who They Are

I’ve been lucky to have wonderful bosses in my life. I really feel for friends who have had bad bosses. Some of my comrades’ stories about their supervisors’ sound like they come straight out of the movie, “Horrible Bosses.” One loved one told me the story of his boss requiring him to take his boss’ mother to a doctor appointment. This person worked as a manager and this assignment was not in his job description in any way shape or form, but ultimately this master’s degree level employee, did all sorts of menial tasks to keep his job.

Perhaps you can think back to your own difficult experiences with a bad boss. Conversely, take a moment to think about bosses who have believed in you. The type of boss you have can inform the meaning and joy you find in your work. When a boss has confidence in you, it truly makes you want to live up to their encouragement and affirmation.

I once had a boss who regularly said to me, “I want you to be the best Christy Bonner you can be.” Maybe if you are reading this blog, these words seem trivial, but if you heard the sincerity, support and love that were behind these words, you would have believed you could climb any mountain in front of you.  My boss, Pat, not only uttered these words to me, but he spoke them to all of the employees in our department. We knew he trusted us and believed in our unique abilities. But one way he truly gifted us, was to allow for diversity. My colleagues and I, all did our jobs as chaplains very differently and yet our boss, Pat, had the ability to see the beauty in the respective ways we carried out the tasks of our job.

My boss could have been dogmatic and prescriptive and required me to function in very specific ways in my role. But instead, Pat, allowed me to be exactly who I am. He saw, affirmed and celebrated my gifts, graces, and even my growing edges. Carl Jung once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” What a gift it is to be with people who allow us to be who we are. And it is also equally important to not only allow ourselves to be who we are, but also to accept other people just as we find them. I’m so grateful to my friends who love me, even in the moments where I am a worry wart, dramatic and other worst versions of myself!

Since we know how good it feels to be accepted just as we are, can we offer this radical life-changing love to one another and ourselves?

Remember to be you and celebrate others as they are,

Christy