The Legacy of Mister Rogers
I originally wrote the article below for the Mountain Mirror. http://www.mountainmirror.com/
Many years ago I helped facilitate a Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) support group for Vietnam Veterans. The Veterans told me stories of coming home from war and being spit on, jeered and despised. These veterans, who served in combat in their teens and twenties, had just seen and experienced atrocities of war that no one should have to witness at any age. They saw fellow soldiers die and witnessed the death of innocent children. And then they sadly came back to a nation that treated them with vitriol. These soldiers already were wrestling with profound survivor’s guilt and shame because of their time in Vietnam, and then they returned home, only to have their shame exaggerated by fellow Americans, who treated them as if they were immoral and un-loveable.
The experience of Vietnam Veterans is just one of many examples, validating how our culture influences the way we treat and see one another. When we look at history we can find countless examples of a majority group perceiving themselves to better than a minority group. We now know the way African Americans and many other groups of people have been treated by our country was horrific and yet not so long ago the Jim Crow laws enforced racism. I think we find ourselves again in a time when we have to be careful to be intentional to choose to see, affirm and celebrate all people.
2018 marks the 50th anniversary of the inception of the children’s show, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood (1968-2001). Mr. Rogers was an integral part of my childhood and perhaps he was a big part of your own memories as a child. For those of us who watched him regularly, we may underestimate the way his ideas informed our own worldview and the way we see one another. At the end of every show, Mr. Rogers said, “You’ve made this day a special day, by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you; and I like you just the way you are.” Mr. Rogers not only heartened children to accept themselves, but songs like, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” encouraged us to see and accept others just as we find them. In his book, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember, Fred Rogers says, “As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has- or ever will have- something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”
Mr. Rogers argued that our call in life is to see the unique gifts and beauty in all people. My concern is that the current climate of anxiety we find ourselves living in, is causing us to fear one another, in lieu of highlighting the gifts and graces that are present in all people. In the last few years, I’ve been aware of a growing climate of judgment and gossip in our culture. It seems like we need Mr. Rogers’ encouragement to see one another more than ever. We must be careful to look for the good in others, instead of seeing the flaws.
I also think it is vital to differentiate between our own experiences with a person or group of people, versus seeing others through someone else’s lens. It is important to remember that we all observe the world from our own narrow perspective and this outlook is based on our culture, beliefs, feelings, worldview, social history, and personality.
- Are we guilty of jumping to conclusions about the character of another person, based on a loved one’s perception of this person?
- And even if someone has made mistakes, can we still find light and worth in them?
The way we treat other people correlates with how we see ourselves and the world around us. As we nurture the beauty in others, we simultaneously cultivate the divine light within ourselves and the world.
The recently school shootings across our country have been heart-breaking. But I do think these shootings can help us to pause and think about the importance of making sure people know they are valued, seen, and loved. In 2003, Mark Leary and his colleagues analyzed 15 cases of school shooters, and found all but two of the shooters suffered from social rejection (Aggressive Behavior, 2003). I think one of the best ways we can respond to the violence in our world, is to make sure we find concrete ways to communicate to our veterans, our children, and all people in our circle that they are loved, worthy, and special. We must continue Mister Rogers’ work of making sure people know they truly are “rare and valuable.”
