Seeking Light in the Midst of Dark Times

Perhaps you have had a day where you felt like you were the character, Alexander, in the children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. In the book everything that could go wrong in a given day, does go badly for Alexander. A running joke throughout the book is Alexander’s image of how his life would be better if he moved to Australia, because he believes life must be better there. The book ends with Alexander telling his mom it has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for him. His mother tells him that some days are like that, even in Australia.

This week has been one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weeks for me. During this week I learned my beloved uncle’s cancer has come back in an aggressive manner and my husband and I were informed our beloved three year old cat, Owen, is dying of the fatal cat disease, Feline Infectious Peritonitis. So we have had a week full of tears, but I have also felt sadness because of friends and family members in our lives who have been dealing with illnesses and grief that seem even more heart wrenching than what we are dealing with and my heart breaks to see the enormity of what these precious loved ones are facing.

All people in the world go through dark days and periods of depression. There are no exceptions. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t lived with depression or depressing situations. What are some of the circumstances that get you down? What parts of life make you feel like giving up? For many the death of a loved one is a time of great darkness when all light seems to disappear. For those facing a divorce or those struggling in a relationship, you also may feel like a dark cloud is surrounding you. Others of you are experiencing the loss of health. The grief you feel over the decline of your physical well-being may leave you down in the dumps. Maybe you have been through the loss of a job in recent years, which not only wreaks havoc on the family finances, but also equally devastates the ego. There are many other situations that bring on depression and all of us have faced times of uncertainty, tragedy and grief.

The challenges of life elicit feelings of sadness, anger and grief. In my role as a counselor, I certainly encourage people to embrace these feelings and I sit with people in the darkness and acknowledge their pain and loss. We all have dark nights of the soul and times when we need cry, feel anger and embrace the darkness and the losses we are experiencing. One thing is for sure, life will continually present us with unexpected difficulties and times of grief we never wanted to face.

I can remember experiencing one of those dark days that we all have. The day was New Year’s Day many years ago. I decided it would probably be a good idea for me to get out of the house and go on a walk with a good friend. I did not need to sit in the house and brood. Staying inside and watching television or being connected to the internet would just make me feel worse. I needed to be outside in the beauty of creation and so I went out to experience life. Even though I was outside, I was still feeling a bit sorry for myself, but then my friend and I passed three children who were out on their front porch and they all appeared to be about 5 years old. The kids started waving at us and talking to us and we engaged in a brief conversation with them. I then told them to have a Happy New Year and then one of the little boys responded by telling me his grandma had a New Year’s Eve party. He told us, “And I got the party started!” The little boy smiled and raised his hands up in the air and said the words again, “And I got the party started.” This little boy made my friend and I both smile and laugh. His joy was contagious. As soon as the little boy said this something changed in me. This little one’s light reoriented me and made me feel better. This little boy let his light shine. As I continued to walk with my friend I recognized how the joy and light of a small boy and also the light of my good friend, who was walking with me, had the power to help me see light and joy despite the hardships I was facing in my life. Sometimes we need to go out and find those sources of light and love in the world.

And we are drawn to light, aren’t we? We love to watch the lights twinkle on the Christmas tree. We go camping to see the stars light up the sky. We marvel at the full moon shining in all its glory. We love to sing at the top of our lungs, “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.” Somewhere deep within us we know that in the midst of hardship, grief and depression we are called to find sources of light. Just about the time you feel like giving up on life and staying stuck in your depression, I hope there is something inside of you that says, “Get up…Do not quit…Embrace life.” Maya Angelou said it well when she said, “All of my work is meant to say, ‘You may encounter many defeats but you must not be defeated.’”

So if you are going through a difficult time I encourage you to find places of light in the midst of your darkness. During a painful season it is a good time to:

•Gather with others who also are facing a loss similar to yours

• Pray, meditate or practice gentle yoga

• Talk to a professional

• Seek out the presence and support of good friends

• Keep a journal

• Exercise, walk or hike

• Get a medical check-up

• Play or listen to music

• Engage in meaningful hobbies

• Go slow and be gracious and gentle with yourself

Let’s find light in the darkness,

Christy