Listen to the Silence, It Speaks
My 9 month old daughter, Isabelle, keeps me moving. We often dance to the song, “I like to Move It” from the children’s movie, Madagascar. I have decided this song is Isabelle’s theme song because she does not like to stop. I celebrate that she has such a lively spirit, but the challenge is her kinetic nature makes her fight naps and sleeping at night.
Being a mom is the greatest gift of my life, but because Isabelle is a mover and a shaker, this new role also presents the challenge of finding time for solitude. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, “There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub.” In the past, I have sought inner peace by going to a cabin in the mountains, a yoga workshop or doing a silent retreat at a convent and while all these experiences were meaningful they aren’t pragmatic things to do right now during this season of Covid-19 and being a new mom. Instead, my own inner work is to learn how to maintain a sense of inner quiet during my everyday frenetic life. As a new mom, I am trying to be intentional to find meditative moments in ordinary moments like showering, listening to the crickets and feeding Isabelle.
But finding these moments of stillness is not always easy. We live in a culture filled with distractions and we are beckoned to stay constantly connected. Historically, I have been a doer who schedules too much in a day and therefore my get up and go nature can make finding time for silence a challenge. When I do enter the silence, I am softer, kinder and more creative. What changes do you notice in yourself when you take the time to quiet your mind? We know companies like apple and google actually encourage their employees to meditate at work, because science shows it leads to more creativity and productivity in the workplace.
I also recognize that when I allow for more silence and space in my life, I have more to give to others. Mother Teresa once remarked that we need silence to be able to touch souls. In silence we receive nourishment so that we can nurture others. But silence is not only useful for helping others. Silence is also helpful in awakening us to be the person we truly want to be. It is when we are truly silent that we are able to feel our feelings, dream dreams and hear our spirit pointing us in new directions. As the Native American proverb puts it, “Listen to the silence, it speaks.”
But slowing down and getting quiet is a scary practice for many of us. And research indicates that people who have experienced trauma in their lives, have an even harder time with practices like yoga and meditation that help to quiet the mind. We numb our pain and repress difficult memories through staying busy. There are moments when I have needed to quiet my mind and breathe, but instead I have run from the quiet by distracting myself through Netflix, calling a friend or running to the fridge. We often use eating, technology, care-giving, alcohol and other means to escape silence and our feelings. Because silence can be such a challenging practice, we may need to just start somewhere. Maybe it is with 5 minutes of breathing, ten minutes of yoga, going on a walk without our cell-phone or reading a daily devotional. And then we can build on this.
I’m aware that right now as a new mom, it feels like I have less time for silence than I’ve ever had in my life which makes it difficult to be my best self. I have spoken with many parents who have also expressed frustration that they are not getting as many meditative moments now because of the reality of trying to work and do virtual school with their children. If you are not getting as much time to just be and breathe, give yourself an abundance of grace and just be mindful of your plan to find little quiet moments when you can.
Also, I think it is important to notice the stories we tell ourselves about silence. Often clients tell me something like, “I am not good at silence.” When we tell ourselves we can’t do silence, prayer, meditation or yoga we start to empower these stories and in turn separate ourselves from the very practices we need. So I would encourage you to think about changing your story. Maybe the new story is, “Historically I haven’t done many meditative practices, but I am diligently trying to spend more time quieting my soul.” And just making this simple shift in the way we think about ourselves, can be instrumental in helping us move towards silent practices that can transform our lives.
The irony is that finding quiet does not mean we will encounter complete silence. Instead, what we encounter is the birds, the crickets, the dog barking and life buzzing around us. We pause so that we might enter life.
Take a moment to imagine a plug in the outlet and then imagine the plug being pulled out of the outlet. How often do you unplug from all the commitments of life and just find quiet rest? Where are places of silence in your life? Where do you go to disconnect, pause, and just be? Elisabeth Kubler-Ross reminds us that we don’t have to voyage to India to find silence and space for our souls. Where do you need to go or what do you need to do today to encounter the healing medicine of silence? Maybe you need to go to the garden, bathtub, massage table, a hiking trial or screened porch. Perhaps you need to pray, meditate, worship or practice yoga. Or it could be something else.
May the silence speak to us,
Christy
*A version of this article was originally published in the Mountain Mirror.
