I Am Because We Are

I recently was cleaning out some paperwork and found a diary, written by my 14 year old self and in it I went on a rant about how I loathed a former President of our country. When I found the diary, I was a little shocked and embarrassed to witness the dogma of my younger self. I had not even remembered being invested in politics as a young teen, but I was a daddy’s girl and had obviously been absorbing the political ideology of my dad and putting pen to paper to express myself. Fast forward roughly ten years and I had found my own political worldview, but I was just as self-righteous and even more vocal about my political and religious ideology. For example, when friends or family members would express a political or religious opinion that I disagreed with, I would sometimes take the bait, and I sounded like a lawyer in the the courtroom during closing arguments, as I practiced my moral absolutism and vehemently defended my points. I can even remember being in tears many moons ago at a Thanksgiving meal, when I clashed with a family member who thought differently than I did. Thankfully, I have changed and softened and learned I don’t have all the answers, life is more complex than the dualistic thinking of my youth and I’ve realized relationships matter so much more than being right.

When I was a theology graduate student, I was overwhelmed by all the new Greek words I had to learn. Four of those words that were new to me then, are now words I keep contemplating. You might be familiar with these four words, but just in case they are new words to you I would like to introduce you to the concepts of xenophobia, philioxenia, orthodoxy and orthopraxy. Xenophobia is a Greek word that is best translated as fear of the stranger and fear of those who are different from us has definitely been on the rise lately. Philoxenia means love of the stranger. It’s the opposite of xenophobia. Orthodoxy, is also a Greek word that means right thinking. On the other hand, orthopraxy means right action and focuses on having the correct action, in contrast to right thinking.

Sadly today, xenophobia trumps philioxenia and orthodoxy often seems to be valued more than orthopraxy. How do we find our way to loving the stranger instead of fearing him and giving more weight to loving action than dogmatic thinking? The concept of tribes is rampant today, but the problem with finding our tribe is that often they are comprised of people who look and think just like us. Often our fear of the stranger and our need for the right answers are rooted in fear.

Xenophobia clouds our judgement and engenders separation, alienation, suspicion, anger, hatred, antagonism and animosity. This fear destroys our ability to love the stranger. Who do we fear? How do we find our way back to love?

Ubuntu is an African term that is often translated as, “I am because we are.” The Western world prefers the philosopher Descartes’ words, “I think therefore I am.” In his book, No Future Without Forgiveness, Desmond Tutu, speaks about the importance of the ubuntu. He says:

Ubuntu speaks of the very essence of being human. When we want to give high praise to someone we say, ‘Yu, u nobunto’; ‘Hey so-and-so has ubuntu.’ Then you are generous, you are hospitable, you are friendly and caring and compassionate. You share what you have. It is to say, ‘My humanity is inextricably bound up in yours.’ We belong in a bundle of life.”

This idea of ubuntu is important, because it highlights how much we value right thinking over community in the West. We value individuality and freedom of thought, and these are important concepts and yet when we start to overemphasize these values, it can lead to fanaticism. It is important to be intellectually curious and use reason to understand how we see the world, and yet we must also remember we belong to one another. If we believe that thinking is what fundamentally makes a person alive, this can lead to tribalism and orthodoxy. However, if our worldview prizes our loving actions toward one another (orthopraxy), this can lead to a very different society than one that overvalues right thinking (orthodoxy).       

Xenophobia leads to enmity and hate, philioxenia points us towards oneness and love. Orthodoxy turns into dogmatic thinking, while orthopraxy is more concerned with practicing our convictions. My personality can easily revert back to being judgemental, argumentative and thinking in dualistic ways. There are still many instances when I backslide and become antagonistic towards others, but I am trying to mindfully choose love in each new day. But we must be aware that fear is a biological response that is deeply ingrained in us and fear invites us to separate ourselves from people who are different than us and to argue with others about our opinions. However, if we choose philioxenia, orthopraxy and ubuntu we are choosing pathways that help us stay connected to one another, in spite of our differences.

We are inextricably linked one to another,

Christy

A version of this article was originally published in the Lookout Mountain Mirror. www.mountainmirror.com