What has been the hardest part of COVID-19 for you? Since touch is my love language, the loss of handshakes, high fives, hugs and other sensory experiences that were once a part of my daily rhythm, has been hard for me. Two years into this pandemic, I still see the majority of my clients virtually. Before the pandemic I saw all of my clients in person. People often ask me whether I prefer seeing my clients virtually or in person. I love the convenience and safety of working virtually at home, but I know deep down that I am a better therapist when I am in the room with others. It is an energetic experience to be in the physical presence of others.

Does the dramatic change in how disconnected you are from other people’s physical bodies, leave you feeling an increased sense of isolation? Touch deprivation and less social connection has most people feeling like a hiker in the Grand Canyon, who is running out of water.

In Nell Mahoney’s book, Get A Faith Lift, she tell the story of the pastor at a church in Oklahoma City who received a letter from a parishioner who wanted to express appreciation for a regular part of the Sunday worship service. She wrote:

I live alone…I don’t have any friends, I am without a job. I guess you would say I am very shy and not good at relating to people. You may find this difficult to believe but each Sunday when we hold hands and pray together the Lord’s prayer, it is the only time in the week when I touch someone or they touch me. I feel connected. I hope you won’t ever stop doing that. 

This story is such a testimony to the power of touch and also a reminder of how painful COVID-19 has been for single people who are no longer able to be touched by colleagues, friends, their yoga teacher or church community.

I can remember during the fall of 2020, being at a bonfire with girlfriends who I had not seen in a while. I unconsciously ran up to one good friend and gave her a hug without thinking about it. This moment happened in the middle of the pandemic before vaccinations. Less than 5 seconds after I hugged my friend, I apologized and let her know I had touched her without even thinking. Even though I was getting regular cuddles from my husband and baby girl, something deep inside me must have still felt deprived of touch as I hugged this friend without thinking about the pandemic. Perhaps you have your own story of something like this happening to you.  

You may feel estranged from from other people’s bodies during COVID-19, but you also may have become disconnected from your own body because you took a sabbatical from your yoga studio or gym. It is common to disconnect from your body through poor diet, insufficient exercise and a lack of grooming. You also may abuse your body through self-harm, addiction or being hard on your physical appearance. So many people have a poor relationship with their body and find little to no pleasure in it. When you disconnect from your body, you are not present for life.

If you don’t feel connected to your body, you are not alone. It’s challenging to stay present and embodied. It is far easier to disconnect from your body, pain and trauma by numbing out through Netflix, food, substances, work, shopping or another form of gluttony.

How would you rate yourself when it comes to living in an embodied way? Ask yourself this question: how present do I feel in my body on a scale of 1-10?

I would like to offer ten possible ways you might tune into the needs of your physical body.

• Try a body scan from the crown of your head to the bottom of your feet. Explore each part of the body and breath as you tune into the pain and sensations you feel in your body. There is nothing to accomplish. Just sit, notice your body and abide in your breath. I have heard several yoga teachers say, “The fastest way to get people in the body is through the breath.”

• Practice self-massage or get a professional massage. Your body is worthy of love and care.

• During COVID-19 many people have put off seeing their therapist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, dentist and general practitioner. Go care for your physical body by making an appointment with your health-care provider.

• Find a form of mindful movement that speaks to you. Maybe it is walking, dance, hiking, pilates or yoga.

• Identify the negative ways that you speak to your body and make a decision to replace negative self-talk with compassionate words about your body.

• Listen to your body by eating mindfully when you are hungry and resting when you are tired.

• Touch is powerful. Hold hands with your partner or child, hug a friend, pet your dog or connect to the earth through gardening. If you can’t receive touch from a pet or another person, take your hands to opposite shoulders and give yourself a big hug.

• Notice your senses. What can you taste, touch, smell, touch and see? After you check in with your senses, observe your internal feelings including joy, sadness, fear, shame or anger.

• Embodiment means caring not just for our own bodies, but also advocating and seeking justice for others. How we choose to respond to embodied needs in our community will vary. Maybe you will volunteer at a homeless shelter, write a letter to your senator, attend a charity fundraiser or sponsor a child in a need.
• Spend time with treasured loved ones. Your body experiences energy from being in the presence of other people. When I am in the presence of others I often feel more vitality or get chills from a story a friend tells me, but this rarely happens to me on Zoom. COVID has led many people to have greater levels of social anxiety, but it is vitally important to push through the desire to withdraw, and to experience the healing power of social connection. What are some ways you can connect to community and experience the palpable energy that happens when you gather in the presence of those you love?   

When you inhabit your body, you are more likely to feel the full array of your feelings. Muscles you never were aware of may ache. You might feel anxiety in your chest. You may cry more than you have in a long time. Anger you had pushed down may bubble up. When you start to live in your body, you might feel negative emotions more intensely. But when you experience the pain of life, you also get to feel more joy, passion and abundant life. Can you commit to being more intentional to live in your body? As you connect more to your body, you will likely find yourself being more present to your loved ones, the created world and the profound gift of life. 

Let’s find our way back to our bodies,

Christy

A version of this article was originally published by www.mountainmirror.com