Learning to Give & Receive
When I was a child my family went through two floods in Jackson, Mississippi, first in 1979 and later in 1983. The 1979 flood, was the most devastating flood that has ever occurred in Mississippi. Our family lost most of what we owned during the 1979 flood. I was a baby during the first flood, and I was four years old during the second flood. I have limited memories of the second flood, but what I do remember is that this was a very anxiety ridden time for my parents, and also for me and my brothers. In fact, my first childhood memory was crying ferociously as my mom left me at daycare for the first time in my life, in the aftermath of the 1983 flood.
Over the years my mom has shared memories of the generosity that was poured out to us by members of the Jackson community during this time. In the aftermath of the floods, my family received help and support from non-profit companies like The Salvation Army and The American Red Cross, but also from for-profit businesses like General Electric and Avon. My parents did not fit the typical profile of people who we might assume needed help. My mom and dad owned their own home and my college educated dad worked as an insurance manager, while my mom had a masters degree and was a stay at home mom. Despite my family’s economic advantages, my parents were hit hard by these two unexpected floods, and because they did not have flood insurance they were in need of support.
My mom remembers The American Red Cross giving us a voucher to buy a new mattress and bed frame. She also recounted a memory of The Salvation Army providing small appliances and clothing that had been donated from General Electric and Avon. A local church in Jackson helped by offering free childcare for flood victims’ families, which my parents were able to utilize. In the midst of a despairing situation, organizations like The Salvation Army and The American Red Cross were a source of light and hope for my family and others.
Years later in 1993, when devastating floods happened in Missouri, my parents were able to make a trip from our home in Middle Tennessee to Missouri, to help for a week with the efforts to rebuild in Washington, Missouri. It was now my parents opportunity to offer back the love and kindness that had been poured onto them during their hour of need.
Sometimes when we are far removed from a disaster it is easy to watch the pictures on the news and go back to the daily grind of our own lives and ruminate on our problems. Even though we may feel far removed from wars and natural disasters, there are people in great need and there are ways to help those suffering in the wake of fires, tornadoes, hurricanes, war, illness and many types of grief.
In 2010, my family was impacted again by flooding when my younger brother, who also did not have flood insurance, experienced the devastating effects of a flood in Nashville, Tennessee. And yet again, I witnessed agencies, neighbors, family, and friends offer tremendous generosity in response to the natural disaster my brother’s family and many others in Nashville were impacted by. So in the aftereffects of these catastrophic events that are acts of nature or war, we have an opportunity to be generous in some way. Whether we offer our time, a financial contribution, listening ears or prayer, I believe we can find small ways to make an impact in the lives of those who are hurting.
On a recent vacation, I met a couple from Ukraine’s neighboring country, Hungary, who have already hosted two refugee families from the Ukraine in their apartment. While we may not choose to host a refugee family, in many and varied ways we can be generous and know this help will be a river of life and love in the lives of others. We recently purchased one night at an Airbnb in the Ukraine, that we obviously were not going to check into, as a very small way to show our support to a family in the Ukraine.
Research points to that fact that generosity helps you to feel better about life and yourself, and it also prevents loneliness and depression. People who struggle with depression have benefited greatly from volunteering, which provides social connection, meaning and purpose and lengthens your life. As Proverbs 11 says, “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”
One of the spiritual lessons that is connected to generosity, is that sometimes we are the giver and sometimes we have to learn how to receive. Notice that in my parent’s life, there was a season where they received help in the midst of two floods, but there was also a season when they went on a mission trip to offer assistance to flood victims. Some of us are much more comfortable in the role of giving and others are more comfortable with the role of receiving. The spiritual life is a life of learning how to both give and receive. In this season of life, do you need to work on giving or receiving. Or maybe, you might need to work on both? May we learn to refresh others and receive refreshment.
