How Do You Eat Your Cinnamon Roll?

Many years ago a friend invited a group of her girlfriends to eat at an Indian restaurant, after she had just returned from a sabbatical studying yoga in India. I love Indian food, and so I told her I would happily be there. When I arrived at the restaurant, I was surprised to find my friend eating her Indian food with her hands. She explained that the part of India she had been to was a place where people washed their hands, and then consumed their food with their fingers. She also informed us that when you touch your food, the nerve endings in your fingers communicate with your brain to signal the stomach to prepare for digestion. Several of her more adventurous guests decided to give this a try, and ate the food with their hands. But somewhere inside of me, there was a should whispering to my body and mind that I needed to practice Southern etiquette and so I ate my Indian food with my fork. With a mixture of judgement and envy, I watched my younger millennial friends explore a new way of eating, while I played by the rules. As I sat at the restaurant, I silently wished I had the bravado they did and was able to worry less about what other people think.

During the 2020 presidential race, a photo surfaced of the Democratic candidate, Pete Buttigieg, eating a gooey cinnamon roll with his hands. This photo went viral and people criticized him for eating the cinnamon roll, “like a chicken wing.” In a similar fashion, New York mayor Bill de Blasio was roasted for eating pizza with a fork in 2014. He responded to his critics by letting them know it was commonplace to eat pizza with a fork in Italy.

How do you eat your pizza? What about a cinnamon roll? Recently, I was eating a cinnamon roll and a cup of coffee at the coffee shop, Canopy, on Lookout Mountain. Just so you know, their cinnamon rolls are unbelievably good. It is worth a drive up the mountain to try one. A cup of coffee with a cinnamon roll is a guilty pleasure I have a hard time resisting! While I was eating my cinnamon roll, I ran into a friend. But here’s the thing, I was eating my cinnamon roll with my hands. Yep…with my hands! There is something nostalgic about unrolling a cinnamon roll and making your way to the ooey gooey center, that makes me feel like a child. As I ran into my friend, with my sticky hands, I felt a little embarrassed. There is nothing like a dose of Southern shame that rears it’s ugly head, when you least expect it. After my friend said a quick hello and goodbye, I had to gently remind myself that being my authentic self means eating my cinnamon rolls without my fork. Just for the record, I usually eat my pizza without a fork too. My husband often does the reverse, and uses his fork for pizza or a cinnamon roll.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong to eat pizza, cinnamon rolls, or even Indian food! The fork was not even invented until the fourth century, and so human civilization went a long time without using one. Many years ago, a mentor gently told me, “Christy, you are shoulding all over yourself.” He gracefully invited me to notice how often I use or think the word should. His advice helped me to move towards eliminating the word should from my vocabulary. But that internal should still pops up from time to time. I know the more prevalent the word should is in my life, the more I should on other people. My expectations of others and myself, prevent me from nurturing my self and others to live authentically.

You might be thinking, what does authenticity have to do with how you eat? I think being your authentic self isn’t just about big things like your vocational choices, but about small matters, like how you mindfully eat pizza or cinnamon rolls. More than this, as you make your own choices about whether to use a fork or your hands at the coffee shop, or whether to vote for a Republican or Democrat, living from a places of authenticity means allowing yourself and other people to be who they are, even if this is not what you would choose. Authentic living means offering grace to yourself and to others. It also means being mindful that our choices often are rooted in our experiences.

My friend ate her Indian food with her fingers, because of her beliefs about how eating with your hands influences digestion and because of her time in India. I prefer to eat a cinnamon roll with my hands, because it hearkens me back to my childhood. Authenticity also means you don’t need external approval for your actions. Instead, it means going inside yourself and making choices that align with your own inner knowing and values. I want to fearlessly be who I am, and allow others to be who they are. How are you working on softening the should inside of you? Notice that the louder your should is, the bigger your expectations are for others.

So how do you really want to eat your cinnamon roll?

Go be YOU!

Christy

A version of this article was originally published in the http://mountainmirror.com