LIGHTING THE CANDLES OF HOPE, PEACE, JOY, & LOVE

The poet and theologian, Howard Thurman, wrote the beautiful poem, “I Will Light Candles This Christmas.” The poem says:

I will light Candles this Christmas,
Candles of joy despite all the sadness,
Candles of hope where despair keeps watch,
Candles of courage for fears ever present,
Candles of peace for tempest-tossed days,
Candles of grace to ease heavy burdens,
Candles of love to inspire all my living,
Candles that will burn all year long.

This poem reminds me of the ritual of the lighting of the advent wreath. During advent Christians light the four candles, which represent the four Sundays of Advent, and they symbolize respectively hope, peace, joy, and love. Sometimes there is a fifth white candle in the center to embody the light of God being birthed into the world.

As I think of Howard Thurman’s poem and the ritual of the advent wreath, I am reminded how deeply the world needs to cultivate the virtues of hope, peace, joy, and love. We are bombarded by heart wrenching images of the wars between Israel and Hamas and the Ukraine and Russia. We feel fear about the growing tension between Taiwan and China. We bear witness to the problem of gun violence and political polarization here on our own soil. I know there are moments when I feel profound despair and helplessness, leading me to question whether there is anything I can do to make a difference in this broken world.

I was encouraged recently when six Lookout Mountain residents organized, “Neighbors for Gun Violence Prevention” to create conversation with the community and politicians about how to locally address the problem of gun violence. In August this group rented a bus to go to Nashville for the Governor’s called session to respond to the Covenant School shooting. While groups like this, and letters and phone calls to our political representatives are critically important, I also think it is imperative not to undermine the need to cultivate the values of hope, peace, joy, and love. When you individually nurture these values in your own soul, more hope, peace, joy, and love reverberate throughout the community and world.

Finding Hope

According to ‘hope theory,’ established by the psychologist, Charles Snyder, hope is not Pollyanna-like optimism. Instead, hope is about having goals for one’s future, believing these goals are possible, and having a plan for how to reach the goals. So hopeful people are courageous and have a sense of agency about their future, instead of helplessness.

In A Man’s Search for Meaning, the Holocaust survivor Frankl said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” So your goals, meaning, and purpose in life helps to create hope in the midst of the despair of life. Maybe one question to ask yourself is, “Given the stressors I am now up against, what am I still hoping for?”

Nurturing Peace

Mother Teresa once said, “Peace begins with a smile.” I have found that smiling does shift something in me. It does not mean that there is no longer conflict or pain in my life, but the choice to smile or mindfully notice the sun on my face can give birth to peace.

The spiritual teacher, Wayne Dyer said, “Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” So one pathway to peace is letting go of the “shoulds” of life. When you accept life, others, and even yourself as you are, you find peace.

In yoga there is a practice of asking for peace three times. The Sanskrit word for peace is Shanti. When you ask for Shanti three times you are asking for peace in your mind, peace in your words, and peace in your body. Often I practice this yoga ritual by bringing prayer hands to my head and asking for peace in my mind. Then I move my prayer hands to gently touch my lips and ask for peace in my words, and finally I place my prayer hands to my torso and ask for peace in my body. When you cultivate peace within, it leads to more peace in your home, your workplace, and the world.

Awakening Joy

Our daughter, Isabelle, recently turned 4 years old. We bought her a scooter last year and riding it is one of her favorite hobbies. Recently I took her to ride her scooter on the walnut street bridge. She rode on the bridge and all around the Hunter Art Museum. It was a beautiful fall day and as the sun was shining on her smiling face, the joy she embodied moved me to a place of utter delight. Joy is contagious and so making space for children and adult friends who have a joyous way of being is a healthy way to nurture your own internal joy.

The theologian, Anne Robertson, writes that the Greek word for joy is chairo. Chairo was described by the Greeks as the “good mood of the soul.” What are the pathways in your own life that help you find this “good mood of the soul?” I know I usually find joy in the presence of gratitude, children, laughter, good friends, the divine, mindfulness, or nature. Joy is something you find when you connect and is an expansive and freeing feeling.

Cultivating Love

You have heard the truism before that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. I believe this is true. When you have grace towards yourself, you are able to offer that compassion to others. But the reverse is true as well. The more you love and value others, the greater capacity you have to see and love yourself.

Research says that loving romantic and platonic relationships increase our life expectancy, reduce depression and anxiety, ease pain, and benefit sleep. So love is a virtue that benefits us to practice. Empathy, forgiveness, self-compassion, keeping your heart open to others, giving others the benefit of the doubt, prayer, self-affirmations, volunteering, and self-care are just a few pathways to deepening love. If you struggle with loving yourself, I would encourage you to regularly ask yourself the question, “What do I need?” This question can help remind you that your needs matter. If you struggle with loving a particular person take a moment to see them in your mind’s eye and ask the question, “I wonder what challenges they have faced and are currently encountering in life?”

In the song, “I Will Always Love You,” our beloved Tennessean, Dolly Parton sings, “And I wish you joy and happiness. But above all of this, I wish you love.” The advent wreath invites us to light candles of hope, peace, joy, and love. All of these spiritual values are life transforming, but I join Dolly in reminding you that above all of this, I wish you love for yourself and others.

*A version of this article was recently published in the Lookout Mountain Mirror.