There is currently more discord in families, workplaces, this country, and the world than I have seen in my lifetime. Family members are deciding at alarming rates to cut-off loved ones and never speak to them again. People are switching jobs more often, in part because of fear and reactivity in the workplace. This nation is so divided politically that it is often not safe to have civil discourse about beliefs and political opinions.
One study found 11 percent of Americans have ceased having a relationship with a family member because of political differences. You have likely read stories about family members who are no longer talking to one another, because of clashing on Facebook or other social media outlets over political views. Maybe you have experienced firsthand an experience of disconnection with a loved one or perhaps you know someone who has set boundaries with a family member or is not talking to a relative, because of opposing beliefs.
Sadly, research indicates that when cut-offs happen in one generation, they are more likely to take place in the next generation. For example, if you stop talking to your mom because of political differences, if you have children, they are more likely to stop talking to you. In other words, the inability to find common ground in the here and now, will inform the well-being of your family system in the future.
The internet and our chosen media outlets, allow you to surround yourself with voices that feed your biases and intensify your sense of self-righteousness. But what is desperately needed in this world, is people who will let go of these partialities and instead vow to listen and learn from different voices.
It’s easier than ever to retreat into communities who look and think just like you, and it’s certainly more comfortable. But healing within yourself and the world, will be more likely, when you intentionally engage with people who challenge you.
I recently read two different articles in the same day that used the word “unhinged” to describe two politicians on opposite sides of the aisle. Politicians of varied political persuasions, are using words like vermin, lunatic, stupid, and other offensive language to describe people who think differently than they do. Rather than reading another article about how awful “those people” are, I propose we talk and worship with people who have radically different political leanings.
The Enneagram Personality System has been a helpful tool in my life to help me understand that a person’s personality can affect how they show up politically. This personality typing system might help you to be more empathetic towards a friend or family member who thinks and acts differently than you during these tense political times. Let me share with you some ways the 9 Enneagram personality types might show up differently.
The Reformer (Type 1)-The Enneagram one often supports “the right way” and when it comes to politics, they tend to have strong opinions and can sometimes be argumentative about politics. Gandhi is a great example of a type 1, because these types also like to be the change they want to see in the world. People who are a 1 or who are high in one, are probably more likely to organize town hall meetings or show up at political protests, because they want to fix the problems in the world.
The Helper (Type 2)- This Enneagram type can be moderate because of their tendency to see the good in both sides, but they also can have strong opinions about politics, rooted in their empathetic heart. Their tendency to see the best in others, helps them to have friendships with people on both sides of the political aisle. Because they want to be liked and held in esteem by others, the type 2 can sometimes struggle with sharing their political opinions, out of fear this might end a relationship with a friend or family member.
The Achiever (Type 3)-If a type 3 identifies with a political party, they may tell others they are an independent or they may not outwardly support a particular party because they want to impress others . Their chameleon nature is rooted in their tendency to be who others want them to be, so they will be seen as successful. Their struggle to find their authentic self, may make finding their political identity harder for them. When they do find their political beliefs, they are often good at knocking on doors and campaigning for candidates, because they know what it takes to work hard and win the race.
The Individualist (Type 4)-Fours appreciate a conversation about politics because they are a philosophical soul who enjoys feeling and thinking about the needs of the world. Fours also focus on the needs of minorities and makes sure everyone has a seat at the table. A type four is also good at embracing mystery and gray, and because of this it can be hard for them to pledge allegiance to a party. Because fours are sensitive, when politics gets nasty, fours are likely to withdraw and shut down during tense political seasons.
The Observer (Type 5)- A type 5 will spend a lot of time researching and reading about politics. The five also enjoys having a polite and intelligent conversation about politics. Sometimes, out of a need to prove their competence, a five might give you a dissertation about the policies and positions of particular political candidates. Because fives can become easily drained, engaging in an intense political debate or attending a political rally may be too much for them.
The Loyal Skeptic (Type 6)- The Type 6 is often loyal to a particular political candidate and political party because they want to be a part of a tribe. But even though they are devoted and can sometimes trust politicians to a fault and give them too much authority, the opposite can also be true and they can deeply mistrust candidates and they might even be unsure whether a particular party is worthy of their support. The type 6 can catastrophize and their anxiety and worry about the political landscape might mean they need to set limits with their consumption of the news.
The Enthusiast (Type 7)-The type 7 is the most optimistic of all the Enneagram numbers, and in the middle of politically tense time, the 7 is often a ray of sunshine who has eternal optimism, hope, and joy for the future, no matter how dire things might seem. Sometimes, because of their propensity to avoid pain and suffering, a 7 might turn a blind eye to politics and the pain in the world, and focus more on enjoying life.
The Challenger (Type 8)-This type enjoys political debate, challenging the status quo, and championing the weak and worthy causes. When I engage in debates, I generally feel emotionally exhausted, but a type 8 often gets energy from articulating their beliefs. The type 8 has a strong voice and their ability to express their opinions well, can be intimidating to other personality types. If the 8 is in an unhealthy space, their intense rhetoric and their need for control and power, can lead to character assassination.
The Peacemaker (Type 9)-While the Type 8 usually enjoy politics, the Type 9 more often feels deflated by politics. Because they naturally see both sides of an issue and have trouble speaking up, it can be difficult for them to find their voice about politics. And if they do have a political opinion, their desire to accommodate others and keep the peace can keep them from taking a stand. During a political election, a type 9 might be tempted to narcotize the discomfort they feel by watching Netflix or numbing out on social media. The type 9 are great mediators and can often help maintain harmony during fraught political seasons.
These descriptions are generalizations and it is important to remember a person’s political views and actions are also shaped by gender, religious beliefs, values, vocational identity, life experiences, culture, and the political environment. Do you see your political tendencies in any of these Enneagram numbers? You might notice yourself in more than one number. My hope is that the Enneagram is a reminder our personality informs the way we show up politically in both positive and negative ways.
The Enneagram is also a reminder we are all very different and maybe accepting these differences might make you feel more empathy towards people who are navigating the current political landscape differently than you are.
The late Pope Francis used the illustration of the polyhedron (a three-dimensional shape with many faces) to “represent a society where differences coexist, complementing, enriching and reciprocally illuminating one another, even amid disagreements and reservations.” Pope Francis advocated for engaging in politics, but also for a better kind of politics that seek bridge building and common ground, in the midst of diversity.
You can have your own worldview and political leanings that are different than a close loved one, and yet also choose to stay connected to this person. It is healthy to be your own differentiated person, and yet celebrate others for who they have chosen to be. Differences can either lead to polarization or enrich and enliven you and this world.
Take a moment to think of someone in your life who has a radically different personality and view of the world. Picture this person in your mind’s eye. Take a moment to remember you don’t need to fix or judge this person, and instead set an intention to recognize, accept, and celebrate this person just as you find them.
I invite you to say out loud or quietly in your heart:
I recognize you…I accept you…I celebrate you
A version of this article was originally posted in The Lookout Mountain Mirror.
