Seek Those Who Fan Your Flames

The poet Rumi wrote these inspiring words, “Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.” Think for a moment about the people in your life who fan your flames. Who kindles the candle in your heart and lights the flame within you? We need to surround ourselves with people who light our path. I encourage you to think of at least three people in your life who mentor you and push you to be the best version of yourself. 

It is important to have many people in our life who inspire us. Our friends and family members serve various purposes. No one person can ever meet all of our needs. Sometimes our loved ones nurture different parts of us. Our respective friends help us in diverse ways to attend to the ways we need to grow. Our circle of friends can help us to: grow professionally, attend to our feelings, laugh more, nurture our spirituality, be adventurous, develop emotional intelligence, have fun, care for our bodies, stretch our worldview or explore our creative side.

When we think about people who fan our flames, we realize that those who support us, are sometimes only on the journey with us for a season. Who are the people who have encouraged, challenged, motivated, inspired, and expanded you at different junctures in your life? I can think of several music teachers, youth group leaders, professors, friends, supervisors, and colleagues, who have made a profound difference in my life. I also am mindful of family members who have died, whose love and care kindled the light within me. Take a moment to think of the saints you have crossed paths with in life, either presently or in the past, who have impacted your life and fanned your flames.

There are so many people who have fanned my flames, but right now I am thinking about the impact the Rev. Aline Summerlin had on my life. In February of 2007, I drove from Beaufort, SC to Chattanooga, TN to be interviewed by Aline to be a hospice chaplain. Aline took a chance on me and hired me and served as my boss for the next seven years. She taught me how to celebrate others, be more assertive, feel the pain of life, embrace existential questions, be an authentic self, take time off of work, create a home that is a respite and practice self-care. Aline also imparted to me the wisdom of staying balanced between work and play. She loved her work, but she also adored her family and was disciplined about taking time off work to be with grandchildren. And oh how her eyes would light up as she spoke proudly about her grandchildren. Her spirituality was one that enlivened me to stay connected to God, family and friends and my interior life.

Aline was an encourager. She would write a handwritten birthday message to every employee at Hospice of Chattanooga for many years, even when the organization grew to the point of having nearly 200 employees. Aline accompanied me during times of joy and pain in my life. She played an active role in the church service on both my ordination and wedding day. Aline grieved with me as my dad was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and offered so many words of empathy and hope during the many years I struggled with infertility. Almost 3 years ago, Aline died of Parkinson’s disease. I miss her and can see her beautiful face even now as I write about her. Earlier this year, when our baby girl was baptized, I felt sadness that she could not be physically with us. But it meant so much to have her husband, Phil, with us as we baptized our daughter, and somehow I also felt as if Aline was there rejoicing with us during this sacred moment.

Albert Schweitzer once said, “At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” I am deeply grateful that Aline fanned my flames and was such a source of love, hope and light in my life. Who has helped to foster and nurture the light within you?

Please consider the following brief gratitude meditation by bringing your hands in prayer at heart center to express thanks for the people in the past and in present who have fanned your flames and kindled the light within you. Name these people out loud or in your mind’s eye. After you say their name, either verbally or in your heart say, I am grateful for you. Your eyes can be open or closed. One option is to end the meditation by setting an intention, to surround yourself with people who inspire you and fan your flames, but to also seek to be an inspiration in the world and the kindle the candle in the hearts of those you love. Or maybe you end the meditation by calling, e-mailing or texting a loved one who has pushed you to grow and be the best version of yourself.

Recently, I was using telemedicine to connect with a teenage client and I spoke with her about the importance of finding people to fan her flames. As we spoke, I asked this client to think of 5 people who have cultivated light within her. I was deeply humbled when she named me in her list of 5 people. One of the great joys of living is that we have people on our journeys that fan our flames, but we also get to be a mentor to others during our time on this earth. And Aline served as one of those mentors for me. She was my boss, friend, mentor and a maternal presence in my life. I think it is so important to keep seeking out people who stretch and inspire us, to be grateful of the people in our lives who currently and previously have fanned our flames and to seek out people who we can nurture and support, even if just for a short season. If we want to set our lives on fire and live life to the fullest, we must find people who push us to be more and we hopefully will be intentional to serve as a guide for others.

May we seek to be a flame and find those who fan our flames,

Christy

A version of this article was originally published by www.mountainmirror.com