Life Is Always Better When You Are Not In A Hurry

Recently, I called the YMCA to reserve a Parents Night Out spot for my daughter. The receptionist had trouble processing my credit card and said they were having issues with the computer. The YMCA employee asked if I minded if she tried to run my credit card on another computer. I told her, “No problem. I am in no hurry.” She responded, “Life is always better when you are not in a hurry.” I agreed with her and said, “I am always my best self when I am not in a hurry.”

Her words, “Life is always better when you are not in a hurry,” hearkened me back to a memory of me rushing that very morning. I was running late to a massage appointment and ended up behind a huge truck that seemed to be going 10 miles an hour down Lookout Mountain. While I don’t have road rage in response to slow cars, bad drivers, or traffic, I have noticed that instead of externalizing my anxiety through anger, I tend to internalize my anxiety which leads to tension in my body.

Ironically, I was on my way to a massage appointment to relieve tension, but unfortunately my own response to the slow moving  truck driver led me to show up to the massage appointment with even more tension for the therapist to massage out. It wasn’t until I laid on the massage table and took some deep breaths that my internalized anxiety started to evaporate.

I agree with the YMCA employee that life is better when you are not in a hurry. And yet, if you are anything like me, you may struggle with a propensity to run late and your rushing state may turn into anxiety. Becoming a mom to a second child has been such a profound gift in my life, but caring for the needs of two kids has left me with less time and I have been in a hurried state more often than I would like to admit.

Even though I have less time for slowing down, I know I need to make the time for solitude practices because slowing down decreases my tendency to live as an anxious rusher. The more yoga, mindful walks, and meditation I practice, the less anxious my response will be in future experiences with slow trucks.

The departed mindfulness teacher, Thich Naht Hahn, once shared this metaphor:

Suppose you are in the desert, and you only have one glass of muddy water. You have to transform the muddy water into clear water to drink, you cannot just throw it away. So you let it settle for a while, and clear water will appear.

I often create a lot of muddy water through my busyness and rushing, but in order to respond to my circumstances in different ways I know I have to learn how to settle, so the clear water can appear.

When I spoke to the woman at the YMCA I told her I was my best self when I am not in a hurry. I have many grounding practices in my life that help me to slow down. I know my anxious response to the slow truck driver was a human one, and yet my hurried state was also a gentle wake up call from the universe to practice some solitude practices in order to help to help regulate my nervous system.

These are some practices in my life that help me slow down:

• Massage
• Meditation
• Putting my phone on airplane mode
• Yoga
• Saying the mantra, “Just This”
• Gratitude
• Prayer
• Walking a Labyrinth  
• Acupuncture
• Sound baths
• Pedicures
• Petting my cats
• Playing “I Spy” with my daughter
• Feeding my son
• Showers

What are your own solitude practices? I know I have clients and friends who utilize different methods to slow down and regulate their nervous systems. Many people have raved to me about how the floating chambers at Lucidity Float and Wellness Center help to quiet their mind. I also have heard the Chattanooga Salt Cave in St. Elmo is a great place to sit and listen to gentle music in a comfortable chair, while you breathe in the healing power of salt.

A few months ago, I took a restorative yoga class that ended in a seated meditation. After this restorative yoga class, the teacher commented to me how impressed she was at how still I was able to be during the 10-15 minute closing meditation. While I appreciated the teacher’s affirmation and feedback, I know this is not always true for me. Sometimes I find it really hard to practice being still. In fact, many people who have experienced trauma may have trouble with meditative practices. I often remind my clients that it is okay to just start with two minutes of meditation and then slowly work your way up to longer periods of meditating.

On a recent trip to the Smoky Mountains I was reminded of the power of hiking to calm my nervous system. It felt so good to be without cell phone reception and to connect with my husband, kids, and the natural world for an hour. We hiked at a slow pace, played with sticks,  listened to the sound of the creek, and enjoyed being together. Life is always better when you are not in a hurry.

A version of this article was originally published in The Lookout Mountain Mirror.