This summer and fall I have had many moments when I felt at capacity because of unexpected stressors, the state of our world, the tragic death of our beloved cat, parenting, working, and trying to maintain relationships with treasured loved ones. Maybe you can relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed or at capacity.
When I have encountered frenetic seasons in the past, I have had the tendency to give until I am an empty vessel, but this year I have been gently talking back to the part of me that is tempted to abandon my needs and reminding my high functioning soul that in order to breathe out, I have to find places to breathe in. During busy and stressful seasons in my life, I know that mindfulness, self-care, and retreats are essential practices in my life that are helping me avoid compassion fatigue and burnout.
You are likely reading this article during the holiday season and so I want to challenge you to not wait until January to practice self-care, mindfulness, or even a short retreat. You will be so much more present to your loved ones and the joy and magic of this season if you take time out for yourself.
Mindfulness
This October my family of four took a trip to Estes Park, Colorado. Between an early flight time and our kids not sleeping great on the trip, there was a lot of crankiness from our kids, but my husband and I also had our own grouchy moments. But even though we were tired and not our best selves, I was determined to practice mindfulness on the trip. Mindfulness is the art of paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, body, and finding awe in the present moment.
One of my most sacred memories on the trip was a walk our family did around Lily Lake. Lily Lake is part of the Rocky Mountain National Park. It was a windy day as we walked around the lake. At one point on the walk my husband and kids walked ahead and I took in a moment just to be present to the stunning view. As I beheld the splendor of the lake and mountains, I watched the light and wind move across the lake. As light and wind danced across the water they created an awe-inspiring shimmer. Taking in this moment I noticed the wind and sun on my face, and I was reminded that when I pay attention to life, I sparkle more brightly just like the radiant lake in front of me. This moment of wonder ignited my inner candle and was a moment in time in which I felt more awake to life, even though my physical body was tired from the lack of sleep and traveling.
Self-care
Self-care is carving out time to care for your physical, mental, spiritual, creative, intellectual, and emotional well-being. Self-care might look different during various stages of life. When I was a counselor and chaplain for a pediatric hospice team, the parents I talked to who were caring for a child on hospice were focused on the needs of their dying child and because they were meeting acute needs, taking a 10 minute shower was what self-care looked like for them.
I am not sure what self-care looks like for you at this stage in your life, but in order to care for others you have to take care of yourself. In my own life self-care is taking a yoga class, attending worship, journaling, reading a cheesy romance novel, antiquing, or getting a massage. Self-care could also be sitting in your favorite hammock, attending a caregiver or grief support group, going to therapy, seeing a medical practitioner, or taking an art class.
Regina Gee is the founder of the locally owned business, Wellspring Coaching, and she coaches her clients to connect with their body, places, people, hope, and sources in order to engage more fully in life. Regina defines self-care as “stewardship of our gifts and our limits.” In her integrative mental well-being coaching she offers individual and group coaching. Regina also facilitates a monthly free workshop called, Definitely NOT Therapy, intended to provide self-care and to cultivate community. If you are looking for new opportunities to practice self-care I would encourage you to reach out to Regina or attend one of Wellspring Coaching’s monthly free workshop.
Retreats
A personal retreat is withdrawal from your everyday schedule to focus on inner reflection, spiritual growth, and self-awareness. Retreats often provide a quiet, intentional space for practices like prayer, meditation, journaling, art, contemplation, and other contemplative practices with the goal of gaining peace, emotional healing, and a deeper connection to oneself or the Divine.
I have had the opportunity to go on spiritual retreats in far-away places like England, Scotland, and France. Two of my favorite retreats were in Iona, Scotland and Taize, France. I also have attended retreats or even workshops that felt like a retreat locally at counseling centers, churches, yoga studios, The Chattery, and at St. Mary’s Center for Spiritual Development in Sewanee, Tennessee.
In my life before children, I had more time for spiritual retreats and even when I only had one child, I was able to attend several weekend retreats. Now that I have two children, it is much harder to carve out time for longer retreats, but I am finding plentiful opportunities for shorter retreats at local churches, yoga studios, and counseling practices. I even recently attended a three-hour Jungian retreat recently at Good Shepherd Episcopal Church that filled my cup in unanticipated ways.
I attended yoga school with Anna McCurdy almost 10 years ago and Anna is a certified yoga teacher, licensed therapist, and the owner of RailRoad Valley Therapeutics, LLC and RailRoad Valley Ventures, LLC. Anna offers private and group therapeutic forest bathing walks, outdoor and walk-n-talk therapy sessions, yearly retreats, and personalized “Stay-at-Home” retreats. If it sounds enlivening to your soul to go on a retreat, consider reaching out to RailRoad Valley Ventures or looking for retreat opportunities a your local church or yoga studio.
It feels important to be honest and acknowledge the responsible voice inside of me that whispers, “Christy, you don’t have time for mindfulness, self-care, or a retreat.” Sometimes this voice questions whether I am worthy of sacred time for myself or whether this time away is selfish, but I gently remind this voice that I will become spiritually dry, resentful, and lonely if I do not take time out for self-care, mindfulness, and personal retreats. I can only give to the level that I receive and so it is imperative for me to slow down and engage in practices like self-care, retreats, and mindfulness that help me be more present to myself, others, and life.
In moments of mindfulness, self-care, and personal retreats my creativity blossoms, I am more tethered to my true self, I have a heightened awareness of my feelings, and I am more likely to feel and experience moments of awe, beauty, and an awareness of a presence much bigger than me that wants to hold me on this journey we call life. How might mindfulness, self-care, and retreats serve you at this season in your life? I encourage you to find spaces to breathe in, and in turn you will have so much more life and love to breathe out.
