The Rippling Effect

When I have to pick security questions for websites, I love when I see the following question, “Who was your favorite teacher?” I have chosen this security question many times because my college professor, Dr. Fred Kellogg, made such an indelible imprint on my life. Hopefully no hackers are reading this article because they now know the answer to one of my three most answered security questions!

It is hard to believe it has almost been 25 years since I took my first college class with Dr. Kellogg in the fall of 1996 at Emory and Henry College. I took six college courses from Dr. Kellogg and to this day I still have my folders from each of these classes. I recently looked through these folders and I was so touched by the words of support he wrote to inspire me to continue in my studies and to improve my writing. On one old test he said, “Good Work! I’m especially impressed that you can do so well on two tests in the same day! It’s great you can succeed under pressure!” He also would compliment me when I knew the answers to questions he asked during class. Even when my answers were not correct his responses were gracious and encouraging. This provoked me to keep studying so that perhaps the next time he asked a question, I would know the precise answer.

Even though Dr. Kellogg was encouraging, his classes were also challenging. I will always remember the time I missed an exam because of our college choir tour and in order to make up missing the test I had to do an oral exam in his office. I felt extremely intimidated taking this oral test because in Dr. Kellogg’s classes good grades were earned and not given. I was terrified as I sat in the office and took the oral exam, but thankfully I ended up doing well on it. Looking back at Dr. Kellogg’s style of teaching, I think I blossomed in his classes because there was something about the interplay of his encouragement and expectations to work hard that helped me to thrive in his religion and philosophy courses.

The immanent psychiatrist, Irvin Yalom, said, “each of us creates-—often without our conscious intent or knowledge—concentric circles of influence that may affect others for years, even generations. That is, the effect we have on other people is in turn passed on to others, much as the ripples in a pond go on and on until they’re no longer visible but continuing at a nano level.” Dr. Yalom calls this idea that our own influence can ripple out to others rippling. Yalom says rippling is “leaving behind something from your life experience; some trait; some piece of wisdom, guidance, virtue, comfort, that passes onto others, known or unknown.” Rippling is the idea that that people continue to exist through the impact they have had on others. Yalom suggests everyone has the potential to affect others for years, decades and even centuries after departing this earth.

The family systems theory was introduced by the psychiatrist, Dr. Murray Bowen. This theory suggests that individuals cannot be understood apart from one another. The family systems theory suggests families pass along positive and negative patterns, resources, symptoms, strengths, anxiety, and behaviors to future generations. Dr. Bowen’s family system theory utilizes a tool called the genogram, to explore a person’s family tree. The multi-generational genogram explores three or more generations to learn about key-life events, spiritual beliefs, physical and mental health, emotional relationships, social relationships, self-care practices and educational and vocational accomplishments within a family. I create a genogram with all my clients who wish to do this exercise, because it is a great way to identify patterns and dysfunctions within a client’s family tree. If we know where we come from and the particular difficulties that have affected our loved ones, we can often more readily address and overcome those issues inside ourselves.

Often when people do a genogram, it helps them to see negative patterns such as addiction, divorce or depression. But a genogram doesn’t only have to be about the painful patterns in our families. In fact, creating a genogram can be an opportunity to track the strengths and virtues throughout our family tree, which can help us understand the impact our family has left on us and on the lives of others. When I completed my own genogram in graduate school in my early 20s, it helped me to realize how profoundly my own virtues, values and worldview had been nurtured by my maternal grandmother.

Dr. Bowen’s family system theory is in tune with Dr. Yalom’s theory of rippling. It is so important to be aware of the ripple of people who have gone before us to form who we are. I believe the more aware we are of the blessing of those who have positively shaped and formed us, the more likely we are to mentor others in positive ways. Who are the people who have created a ripple effect in our own life?

The Bowen Family Systems theory says we can cripple future generations through our actions or we can ripple out a tidal wave of loving actions that can have far reaching effects on our family tree, workplaces and the world. It is important not to underestimate the ripple effect of what we do, say and even how we make people feel. My maternal grandmother, Bell, and my college professor, Dr. Kellogg are just two of the many people whose ripple has inspired my own journey. Whose words and actions have rippled down to transform your own life? In what ways will we consciously create ripples in the world to light the path of others?

Let’s Ripple,

Christy

A version of this article was originally published by The Lookout Mountain Mirror. www.mountainmirror.com