A Simple Exercise to Make Ordinary Days More Miraculous
Can you visualize what a miracle day would feel like or look like for you? There is a form of therapy called Solutions Focused Therapy that invites you to imagine your miracle day. The miracle question is a tool therapists use to help their client create a miracle day. This is my version of the miracle question that I sometimes ask my clients:
Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle happened and all of a sudden you were living your best life. When you wake up and experience a miracle day, what would you mindfully be doing from the time you woke up until the time you went to bed? During this miracle day you may do things you already enjoy doing, but you also might engage in favorite activities you have done in the past or new practices that you have always wanted to try.
The miracle question helps my clients imagine what they want their life to look like. It can be used with individuals to set therapeutic goals, with couples, to negotiate what a miracle day might look like in their life together or to help families clarify what a life-giving day would feel like for the family. By utilizing the miracle question and asking each person what a better life would look like, it can help individuals, couples and families understand what they need more in their everyday life to live more abundantly. So the miracle question helps people to step out of their problem story and into a narrative that reminds them of the life they want to live.
Science is convincing me it is not just important to say what we want to do during our miracle day, but to close our eyes and imagine ourselves doing it. According to research utilizing brain imagery, imagination exercises can be effective tools at creating change because the neurons in our brains, interpret these visualizations as tantamount to real-life change. When we create a miracle day and then in our mind’s eye and heart imagine ourselves doing it, the brain will tell our neurons to perform the movement.
So the first step in the miracle question is to either write down or speak aloud what your miracle day would look like and the second step would be to visualize yourself living this miracle day. When I have done this exercise for myself, I have imagined an ordinary day and included my personal and professional responsibilities in the composition of this day.
When you consider your miracle day you might also consider the thoughts you will have about yourself, others and the world. Additionally, consider describing what it would feel like emotionally and in your body to experience this miracle day. How would your countenance, tone of voice, attitude and demeanor shift?
If you are feeling depressed, I really encourage you to ask yourself the miracle question and visualize yourself living this day. I believe this practice can work, not only for scientific reasons, but because it is a spiritual exercise that can move us from despair to hope.
How would you feel as you rolled out of bed. What would you do first? What would your second and third step of the day be?
What would you drink and eat? What would you do? How would you spend your time? How would you create a balance of ease and effort within the context of the day? Describe your miracle day, from start to finish.
This is what my miracle day looks like:
Wake up well rested…Meditate/Pray/Offer Gratitude…Review my day on my calendar…Mindfully sing joyfully to my one year old…Eat a healthy breakfast with my 1 year old and drink a cup of tea or coffee…Drop my child off at daycare…Practice Yoga…See clients…Eat a healthy lunch…Do household chores…Text or call a loved one…Read or listen to a portion of a book or podcast… See clients…Eat a healthy dinner with my husband and daughter without my cell phone on the table…Engage in an embodied activity with my family like walking, playing at the park or drumming…Do bedtime rituals such as taking my vitamins, reading to my daughter etc.,… Watch the news or read…Commit to no technology an hour before bed… Connect with my spouse… Meditate… Retire to bed by 10:30p.
So our miracle day is an ordinary day in our life that helps us to identify what practices are most important in our personal and professional life. Obviously, each day has a different rhythm and there are days when I spend time with friends or family, have a date night, go shopping or do special activities that are not listed above.
Whenever I have written out my miracle day, it has been important for me to identify the pieces of the day that I am already doing well and then the ones I need to be more intentional to do. For example, the miracle question helped me identify that I need to be more diligent to eat healthy, read and to limit technology an hour before bed. Therefore, it is important for me to visualize myself eating the types of foods I want to eat, reading and putting up my devices an hour before bed.
We need to be gentle with ourselves when we try to live out our miracle day and it doesn’t go according to plan. When you are making changes to live out your goals, give yourself grace and be flexible with the day, allowing for changes in the schedule. Our 1 year old still wakes up often in the middle of the night and so I don’t always wake up rested and I certainly don’t always make it to bed by 10:30p. When I have had a demanding day, sometimes the embodied family activity I mentioned on my miracle day is as simple as playing Ring Around the Rosie with my daughter. And please, give yourself permission to be organic and make changes in your miracle day.
If your miracle day involves a new practice that you haven’t done in a while or ever, it is important to start small. For example, if you are going to meditate for the first time in your life, you might start out doing this 5 minutes a day. Or if walking is on your miracle day, but you haven’t done this in a while you might just walk a couple of blocks.
As you write out your miracle day, be intentional to have a balance between work and rest. I have so many clients who tell me that now that we are hopefully emerging from this pandemic, they don’t want to go back to overdoing life. And so, on your miracle day please be intentional to choose activities that you want to do, instead of what you feel pressured to do.
Whenever I am more mindful to live out my miracle day, I have less anxiety, reduced tension in my body and more joy in life. Perhaps the way you are living now is radically different than the miracle day you imagine for yourself. If this is the case, please be kind and gentle with yourself as you make small changes to move toward making your miracle day turn into a reality in your everyday life.
Let’s imagine our miracle day,
Christy
A version of this article was originally published by The Lookout Mountain Mirror. www.mountainmirror.com
