How the Amish Taught Me to Think Paradoxically

Roughly 5 years ago my husband and I went to Amish country in Lancaster County, PA. On our way home from this trip we missed our flight and had to drive from the Trenton, NJ airport to the Nashville airport to pick up our car and then back home to Chattanooga. So in 4 ½ days we managed to drive about 1500 miles, including our time in Amish Country and our drive home. We decided our quote for this trip would be, “The Amish may not drive cars, but we sure do!”  

As you may know, the Amish are a Christian community who are known for simple living, plain dress, and the reluctance to adopt many modern comforts, such as electricity.  However, we were surprised on our horse and buggy tour of the beautiful Amish farms when our tour guide informed us that some Amish were now using cell phones for their businesses and also many homes had solar and wind powered electricity. And so even though the Amish were not driving cars or watching TV, there are ways in which the Amish culture has changed to adapt to our modern times. 

One way in which the Amish have not changed is their tendency to be very gracious and forgiving. Our tour guide told us that the Amish have stands of fruit and vegetables, but no one is present to collect the money. Instead they leave a container that can be opened and ask people to pay for their produce on the honor system. The guide told us that the Amish don’t get mad when their produce or money is stolen. Instead, their philosophy is that the person who steals from them likely needed the food or money more than they did.  However, our tour guide pointed out that people rarely steal from the Amish and her philosophy is that because the Amish exercised their trust in people, most people proved to be trustworthy. Stories of the grace and generosity of the Amish are so prevalent that the Amish are often referred to as “the gentle people.”

While we were in Amish Country, my husband and I visited the town of Nickel Mines, PA. On October 2, 2006 this Amish Community would experience profound grief and loss. On this clear autumn Monday morning a truck driver named Charles Roberts walked into a one-room schoolhouse and shot ten Amish girls age 13 and younger, killing five of them, before turning the weapon fatally on himself. Within hours, news trucks and reporters flooded the scene. Their initial reports expressed shock that such a violent act could strike people who don’t own guns and are known to be so gracious and nonviolent. In less than a day that story line was old news. Early the next morning, less than 24 hours after the disaster, word surfaced that the Amish community had forgiven the killer and his family. Perhaps you remember reading about this story or seeing it on the TV. In barely a week, more than 2400 articles about forgiveness appeared on the Internet. Many praised the Amish as models of charity and grace for the world to see. A movie called, Amish Grace, beautifully shares the story of the Nickel Mines school shootings.

People continue to be mystified by the Amish’s ability to forgive so quickly and freely. On the other hand, even though the Amish are so quick to forgive others outside their religious community, it feels paradoxical that their own practice of shunning seems inconsistent with the radical grace they offer to people outside their religious community. Shunning typically follows expulsion from the church. Amish are excommunicated when they sin or stop following the rules of their religious community. The modes of shunning vary considerably in different communities. The Amish are not permitted to receive rides or goods from offenders or to sit with them during meals. Excommunication from the church can lead to permanent estrangement from family and friends. However, those who do fall from grace can return to the community if they are willing to confess and return to their church’s rules.

It is hard to reconcile how the Amish can offer such extreme grace to people who steal from them or even murder, but then practice shunning others in their own community. It seems contradictory and yet the reality is that we are all incongruent in the ways we live our lives. It also is very hard to understand how others live their lives in radically different ways than we choose to live our own. 

Sometimes we may decide one aspect of a religion is strange, like the Amish practice of shunning and so we decide to dismiss the religion altogether. We do this with people as well. We decide that because we don’t like one facet of who someone is that they are not worthy of our respect. The truth is that whether we are talking about nations, religions or people we all have beauty and shortcomings. 

I think it is imperative that we all live in a paradoxical mindset about one another. Instead of judging one another as good or bad, it is important to embrace the gifts and growing edges we all have. I am very human and at my worst I can be hangry (angry/hungry), rule-oriented, stubborn and moody, but I can also be graceful, kind, wise, and generous. When my husband and I spent time in Amish country we learned about a community that can be legalistic, but can also show others extravagant forgiveness and love. It takes an open heart to look closer so that we don’t just see the shortcomings in other people, religions or nations. Let’s open our hearts and embrace a paradoxical mindset so we can see the beauty in the Amish, ourselves and one another. 

Let’s think paradoxically,

Christy

A version of this article was originally published by The Lookout Mountain Mirror. www.mountainmirror.com