Embrace the Miracle of Life
In Frederick Buechner’s book, Listening to Your Life, the recently deceased theologian, tells the story of a great theologian lecturing on miracles who was asked to give a specific example of a miracle. The professor answered, “There is only one miracle, ” he answered. “It is life.”
Have you wept at anything during the past year?
Has your heart beat faster at the sight of young beauty?
Have you thought seriously about the fact that someday you are going to die?
More often than not, do you really listen when people are speaking to you instead of just waiting for your turn to speak?
Is there anybody you know in whose place, if one of you had to suffer great pain, you would volunteer yourself?
If your answer to all or most of these questions is no, the chances are that you’re dead. (Listening to Your Life)
Frederick Buechner’s wise professor said that a true miracle is the courage to be present to life. You might be alive, but you only touch the miracle of life when you feel your feelings, pay attention to beauty, acknowledge your mortality, listen deeply, and make sacrifices for others. I know in my own life there are moments when I am touching the miracle of life and moments when I am asleep at the wheel. The moments when I am not acknowledging the miracle of life, usually involve too much time on my cell phone, over consuming Netflix, or living in an ego state of trying to prove myself through doing too much.
A little over 10 years ago, I ended up in the ER with chest pain and symptoms of a heart attack. The ER wanted me to follow-up with my GP and he hooked me up to an EKG and because they found some irregularities, they had me wear a heart monitor for about a week. But after wearing this heart monitor they determined my heart was fine and my general practitioner suspected I might be suffering from anxiety. I was in my early thirties and working roughly 50 hours a week as a pediatric and adult hospice chaplain, serving on several boards, and doing some interim work at a church. It was a time in my life when I was not very good at saying no to others or at saying yes to my own self care needs. It was very difficult to watch both young and older clients I had become attached to die, and I also did not make enough space to process my feelings and pain. Instead of attending to my feelings or releasing them in embodied ways, I was storing my stress and pain in my body, and it surfaced in my chest.
I am proud of the work I did as a chaplain for roughly 15 years, but when I look back at my younger self, I am aware that I often tried to prove my worth through being a helpful martyr. I often sacrificed my own needs and ability to live life mindfully, through always putting other people’s needs above my own. What is it that you do to prove your own worth that keeps you from touching the miracle of life? It might be perfectionism, academic achievement, workaholism, people-pleasing, or something else. The myriad ways you try to prove yourself often keeps you from equilibrium and experiencing the wonder of life.
I am now in a season of life, where I am trying to work less, say no more, practice self-care, move in my body, breathe more deeply, spend time outdoors, and make more time for my feelings. Now that I am cultivating more space in my life and not always trying to prove my worth through helping, doing, accomplishing, or being perfect, I am able to be more present to life. But it is easy to backslide, and I must be very intentional every day to not go back to a life of over functioning.
During this holiday season, it is tempting to try to prove your worth through beautiful decorations, sending holiday cards, buying presents for all your friends and family, and having a spotless house. I can look back at many Christmases where my need for the house to be perfect or my need to find elaborate gifts kept me from touching the miracle of Christmas. As you set limits with technology, slow down, and stop striving to prove yourself, you too will more readily tune into the miracle of being alive. During this holiday season, will you join me in seeking to value your presence to the miracle of life over presents? The blessing and abundance of life is right in front of you if you will stop to experience the sight of twinkling lights, the smell of fresh cut evergreen, the taste of a peppermint latte, the sound of Christmas hymns, the hug from a loved one at a holiday gathering, and the message of hope, peace, love, and joy.
May we not miss the miracle of it all,
Christy
This article was originally written for www.mountainmirror.com
