Discipline: What I Want Now or What I Want Most?
Every once and a while I come across a quote that rocks me to my core. Recently I encountered these profound words attributed to Abraham Lincoln, “Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” Honest Abe why did you have to be so honest and force me to be so honest with myself? Because now, dear old Abe, I have to reckon with your words. The truth is that what I want now is some whole milk and Oreo cookies. But if I answer what I want most this means it is usually better not to have what I want now. If I always have what I want now, I can’t have what I want most. The truth I know deep inside myself is that discipline leads to more discipline in my life. On the other hand, when I chose the gluttony of what I want now, it temporarily feels amazing to acknowledge my sweet tooth, but in the end my tendency to eat too much sugar has led my body to suffer from bloating, joint pain, sugar cravings and lethargy. In turn, my sugar crashes lead me to be less active, mindful and creative. But when I choose self-control instead of short-term satisfaction, I eat less sugar and this choice is based on my ultimate goals (Honest Abe would approve), which in turns makes me a much better version of myself.
What types of immediate gratification do you choose that keep you from living life to the fullest? Some of us over-consume through too much wine, food, exercise, social media, television, gaming, texting, socializing, care-giving, traveling, shopping, cleaning and the list goes on. Food and Netflix are my biggest distractions and so sometimes I choose to take a Sabbath from certain types of food or from television. Currently, I do have a TV, but there was a period in my life where I went about 4 years without one. During this time frame I would still occasionally watch a movie on my phone or laptop, but not having a TV helped me to set strong limits with my technology consumption, which freed up more time for yoga and other pursuits. As I became more consistent with my yoga practice, this led me to enroll in a yoga certification course at Chattanooga Yoga School and Yoga Landing. My classes in yoga school helped me develop a meditation practice and cultivated healthier eating practices. I even made the decision during this time frame to be a vegetarian again. My time in yoga school helped me become more confident and provided me the internal wisdom to start a blog and also my own private therapy practice. As I look back on this time in my life, it is clear that starting the discipline of not having a television led to more time for yoga, which facilitated many other new disciplines. Creating discipline in just one area of your life, will likely lead to discipline in many other contexts of your life and this will lead you toward freedom and growth.
As you strive to cultivate discipline in your life, I encourage you also to practice being kind to yourself. It is okay to take a Sabbath from your discipline or to have days when you don’t reach your goals. Try to offer yourself an extravagant amount of grace. It is also important to be mindful that there might be seasons in your life when discipline is really challenging. During the past year, I have not been my most disciplined self, but when I remind myself that in this previous year I have experienced the death of my father, a world-wide pandemic and have been in the new role of being a mom to our sweet baby girl, I start to treat myself with kindness and patience. Just the pandemic alone has created isolation, anxiety, a lack of structure, grief and a whole host of feelings that have made discipline harder to achieve. If discipline has been tough for you during this pandemic, please be gentle with yourself.
Even though this pandemic has been rough and has made it harder for many people to be disciplined, maybe it is time for you to start thinking about how to find your way back to a more disciplined life. A lack of discipline can lead you down a road of health problems, financial problems, an unkempt home, trouble with concentration and many other issues. However, once you choose the pathway of discipline this can lead you to explore disciplines that enhance your life spiritually, emotionally, physically, creatively and intellectually. And so it is important to ask yourself the question, “How is my lack of discipline getting in my way?” And then the next question might be, “Where in my life do I need to be more disciplined? You also might consider what other disciplines might support your new discipline. For example, if you want to create a morning meditation or devotional practice you might also have to make sure you have a sleep hygiene routine, so you are able to wake up early for your spiritual practice.
Whenever I start a new discipline it is often difficult and so I often have to repeat this mantra to myself, “I can do hard things.” You might need to create a unique mantra for yourself that encourages you to stick with your new discipline. As humans, it is tempting to run from hard and uncomfortable practices. Remind yourself that growth happens when you stop running and stick with the discomfort. But also be mindful that you don’t have to be the only one cheering you on in your new discipline. Try to enlist a partner, parent or close friend to encourage you on your journey of trying to make this new discipline a way of life. Or maybe allow Honest Abe to be your accountability partner. Maybe you see him in his top hat and can hear him gently telling you, “ Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most. You’ve got this.”
We can do hard things,
Christy
A version of this article was originally published by the Lookout Mountain Mirror. www.mountainmirror.com
